Kathy Schmitt: holidays and parting words

Do you have a favorite holiday to spend with your family and why is that one your favorite?

Me and my family now?

Either your family now, or your family growing up.

Well now I loved our Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving was you don’t have to worry about all kinds of ceremonies and present opening, and you just kind of had the date and enjoy. Just about togetherness, the turkey.

But growing up, we had 4th of July, my sister lives on a lake, and every 4th of July, we all went. Anybody out of town came up and went to her place. Then after we had the day at the lake, James would remember it. I had kids when we went. My sister died, and my brother-in-law died. And there was some actually owns the house where they lived and he talked about having it, but he never did have it again. So I really cherished that. So 4th of July was the biggest one in the whole family, like cousins and all, but the one that stands out is Thanksgiving.

My mother always insisted: I want you to come for Thanksgiving, then you can do what you want for Christmas. I know you have little kids. You might want to go to your in-laws. You might just want to visit us Christmas Eve. So I want Thanksgiving. So she got Thanksgiving. We all always made sure we went to her house for Thanksgiving.

And you know what? Most of the families would want you for Christmas anyway, and not her. So they were happy. They didn’t care if we didn’t come to Thanksgiving when we were going to come on Christmas. So we all took turns, doing dinners and everything. After my mother stopped Thanksgiving, we told her we’re going to take over.

Then my father died. We had a hotel for several years. We all brought in the food on Thanksgiving. We had a room with a pinball machine, and they just had fun, the kids. So we did Thanksgiving. We continued as long as we could, after I got divorced, of course, I didn’t want to have it there. So we had other places, and my mother and father died. My mother started to take us out for dinner for Thanksgiving. She never gave up. And we continued that for a few years after she died and my brother died.

I think we did it one more year. Then he had taken over and they told me I had to take over. I brought it over in New Jersey. Cause most of them are in New Jersey, the cousins and all, but you know what? It wasn’t, as I just said, we’re not doing this. So we just cut it there. We had enough people here. There’s no expectation.

As Darby and Karla grow up and grow into adolescents and teenagers and adults, is there any kind of advice that you would give them for the future as they kind of grow up? Is there anything that you’d want to like leave them as far as insight or advice or a memory?

Okay. That’s interesting because Darby was going to help me with this book. I just bought that 2 years ago, a grandmother’s book. I was showing it to her and she goes, oh, I could really fill this out. I thought about putting all kinds of advice in there.

What advice would I give to them? Travel as much as you can, whenever you can. Stay close to your family. And of all the regrets I had, I would say, keep your friends that you really, really cherish. Don’t drift apart and then not know how to get together again. There are a few friends that I wish that I had kept in contact with. And I would tell them no matter what it takes; in this day and age you have no excuse. I would say cherish your family, stay close to them. And keep some good friends.